20 to 1 You'll be buying barbies next Christmas

Kara and I just found out that there is a 95% chance that our baby is going to be a girl. That basically means our doctor didn’t find any bits and pieces in the ultrasound but you can never be 100% sure until birth. I’ve been thinking about the next 18 years. Little girls turn into teenage girls and teenage girls start making their own decisions and I can’t control that. I thought it would be easier with a boy. Just throw him to the wolves and say toughen up or you’ll never make it. With a girl the word “balance” comes to mind. I want her to know she’s loved and doesn’t need to date until she’s 30 but at the same time I don’t want to spoil her. Hmmmm.



Thinking about it, it’s a good thing you don’t get to pick the gender of your baby. We would make our choices based off of superficial reasoning and miss out on things we never thought of. Maybe she’ll want to still go hunting with me or take that hike along the Appellation Trail. Maybe I’ll like playing with polly pocket and braiding hair, who knows. One thing is for sure, a lot of my friends are having boys right now and they better not get any wise ideas. I don’t care if they are only 5 days old. I know what it was like to be that age. That’s what scares me the most. I remember being a slimy fork tongued little kid in middle school and high school. Some day she’s going to entertain the thought of talking to one of those hormone drugged, cracked voice kids and I’ll have to pretend I don’t mind. I think I’m getting a little ahead of myself but I’m just being honest. I wonder if I’ll become one of those feminist dads. The ones that insist their daughter’s are able to play on the football team if they want to. I’ve already started flipping through early learning center toy catalogue looking for possible instances of gender bias. How come only the boys play with the gladiator arena of blood play set?



Can I still buy girls Legos? I was advised that it was still a good idea but make sure I get the lavender and pink colors. This is going to be fun.



We watched our friend’s two girls this weekend and they were very well behaved. They are different then boys and I have to remember that but at the same time they were OK with playing Frisbee and going to the video arcade. I was however told by them that the females in my cartoons left much to be desired. That’s enough ranting for now, I’m sure there will be more.

2 my boyz

So I got an email from my boys say they weren’t feelin the lovin... Spend ten years knowing them but my sites not showin… Did I forget the days we ran from fishers mill… Talking late nights about girls and what was real… Did I forget my heritage or forget my past… Did all this sun burn my brain and put it last… Did I forget the parties and the fights… did I forget not taking a bath for 7 nights… how about taking the neighborhood lights… marking my back and the next day jumping out of our flight… Aw nah, of coure I didn’t… I’m still as dirty and there’s no forgettin it… I don’t mind saying I cut down trees… it was with a hatchet when tequila wuz my disease… That I miss the days we broke stuff for fun… and when people started stepping we took em down by the ton… Mike we ran double digits more then once… during high school did you ever pay for lunch… now your married and thinking of moving… are you going to Africa or is China where you cruzin… I’ll see you when you least expect it… keep the doors locked I don’t want to walk in when your getting pregnant… my kid better not have read hair… 8000 miles nothing, your butt will be blistered bare… Khris its been too long… I saw you in Dallas now we’re singing the same song… kid on the way starting to feel real… bought a wooden rocking camel just to get the feel… talking about moving with a friend of mine… how many times did we fill you rider truck, I think it was nine… You running Austin now and inspiring me still… wish I could do 26 in Texas but I have to stay here for my thrill… It’s the pain of living here, the only thing with a sting… you know if it was a car drive away you’d here my bells ring… I can’t forget Dave the original traveling man… took off to Colorado, laughed when I asked to see his plan… said he doesn’t need one, he’s smart enough to exist… just another life experience he didn’t want to miss… Now he’s got a real job being a smart man… next thing he’ll own the mountain and surrounding land … Joe emailed me with an update, I do miss that soul … I guess this will be the last time I can call him troll… grown ass man that he’s become it’s hard to call him that… Wife, kid, commission he’s living phat… So forgive my lack of phone calls, the time difference is jacked… I end my day and yours is just getting on track… I’ll never forget you taught me Jesus was cool… and so was wearing second hand clothes we found at school… We all strayed once or thrice… but like the prodigal son we know His love can’t be cut with a knife… even if we tried every trick to see what we could prove… the foundation we stand on will never move… So to the grown ass men and prodigal sons you’ll always be my boys… forgive my lack of shout outs and the quiet in my noise… I’ll see you this summer, I hope we remember it the next day… Remember Mike, we still love you even if you’re gay.